"Don't lie to me!" Captain Rogers told his subordinate. "I was monitoring the outside cameras when I saw you..."

...hitting golf balls off the fantail!"

Ensign Turner could not understand the captain's obvious displeasure. "But sir, we always hit golf balls off the fantail. I don't understand why today would be different from any other day. I wasn't on duty, so I wasn't shirking my responsibilities."

Glowering at the trembling ensign, Captain Rogers filled his young subordinate in on the rules of proper golf procedures while serving aboard a naval vessel, "Turner, you never play the back nine of the Neptune Open without the ship's captain in your foursome!"

"Ye - ye- yes sir," was a sufficient enough response from Ensign Turner, to convince Captain Rogers that he would not be left out of any future golf outings aboard his command.

by Stewart Lindsay, Buffalo, NY

...sneaking cookies! Why would you do such a thing. You know for a fact that World War 100 is going on outside but here you eating cookies."

by Marshall Mathers, Detroit

...putting something nasty on my jeep seat. That spells a court martial for you, soldier!"

"Oh, no, sir," the private began to stutter out an excuse, "I was just cleaning the seat for you. It had dust and debris on it. The lord knows we don't want you running around with dirty britches, sir! Especially not on the buttock area!"

by Mary, Fredericksburg, TX

...take the truck."

His subordinate squirmed. "Ok,ok. I took the truck. Your wife asked me to take it."

"My wife? What does she have to do with this?" questioned the Captain.

"Let me 'splain," replied his underling. "Remember the cabin you and your wife rented last summer by Fish Tail Lake?" The Captain nodded yes as he continued. "She went ahead and bought that cabin for you. My job was to take some building materials up there so the carpenter she hired could spruce up the cabin."

"Well, why didn't you tell me?" asked the Captain.

"Because she wants to surprise you. Look, why don't you drive up to the cabin now and help the carpenter finish the work?"

"Sounds great," replied the Captain.

His underling smiled and thought, Now I got to figure how to get his wife up there later today so they can surprise each other.

by Anthony Bagnick, Lake Ariel, PA