WEEK 355
"When I said I wanted something to eat," Chrissy told her brother, "what I had in mind was something a little more..."


...nutritious. I mean, how do you live off just Top Ramen?" Chrissy shut the door to her brother's pantry and walked across the kitchen to the refrigerator. Her Asics running shoes made the sound of Velcro peeling apart each step across the faded linoleum floor that hadn't been mopped since the Clinton administration.

"I think there's some pizza in the fridge," he said to her while cracking open a 16-ounce "pounder" can of Budweiser.

Chrissy opened the refrigerator. She saw a rotten head of Iceberg lettuce that was a striking match to the accent color of her newly painted powder room. The color chip sample called it "Sunset Russet."

"I swear," she said to her brother, "you're 36-years-old, and you live like a college frat boy."

Her brother took a swig of his beer, burped, and said,"What, there's no pizza left?

by Jeff Ratcliffe, Hatboro, PA

...closely related to what mom would make."

"What do you mean, Chris, Mom always makes things out of cans."

"Maybe she makes things that come out of cans, Eddie, but the magic she performs is taking the stuff OUT OF THE CANS before serving it to us!"

"Come on, Chris, what am I...a chef? You said you wanted something to eat, I gave you something to eat."

"Yeah, Eddie, thanks. Oh, and thanks for at least opening the can."

"No problem, sis. Enjoy!"

by Stewart Lindsay, Buffalo, NY