WEEK 342
The captain ran back through the passenger cabin and shouted, "Don't panic! I know it sounded bad, but we only hit a..."


...small piece of Space Junk. We all were advised in our training for this the first passenger flight into space, please don't panic." He said, "I need you to relax, bring your blood pressure down, think of the stories you get to tell upon our return." Susan was thrilled to be one of 100 who were chosen by lottery to take a seat for the ride of your life.

by Veronica Andrews, Woburn, Mass

...gaggle of geese!" The passengers accepted this explanation for the intense turbulence only after having been dragged through a conduit of emotion, including fear and mortal concern, finally coming to settle themselves into a state of relief, after having fully realized the innocuity of what it meant to hit several geese in a commercial airliner. The captain then retired to the flight deck, shared a manful weep with the co-pilot, and thereafter bore the terrible secret of what they actually hit. The co-pilot on the other hand, unable to handle the weight of the terrrible secret, ripped out his own jugular vein with a virile yell of anguish and bled out all over the instrument panel. The passengers were doomed to wonder why the captain felt so compelled to abdicate his duties as pilot and address them directly rather than using the intercom system. Fin.

by Kelsie Love, Cameron Nelson, Montana, Florida

...rather small piece of driftwood. It was too small to cause even the slightest damage."

Anna sighed. She was still shaking. Who would have imagined that a short voyage on the yacht would have upset her so much. Just once she would love to be able to sit back, relax and enjoy the things everyone else enjoyed. No one else seemed the slightest bit rattled.

Simon stroked his wife's head softly. Perhaps this was a mistake. The boat was huge and very safe. The waters had been mirror calm, yet Anna never seemed able to be very far from panic mode. She lived in her own purgatory. Even the slightest noise sent her right to the ceiling. How ever would he be able to help her find peace?

by Kathleen Ratcliffe, Hatboro, PA