WEEK 325
"I KNOW I planted carrots in this garden patch," Sarah said, looking puzzled, "but this stuff is..."


...definitely not what a carrot is supposed to look like. So either my pitbull Long Bones ate all the carrots that grew, if ever, only God knows why coz I'm pretty sure dogs let alone this monster of a dog don't have innate affinities for vegetables, or my dead rabbit Pumpkin rose from that cute little grave I buried him in a couple of weeks ago right under the fence and ate all the carrots that may or may not have grown, or the carrots I planted could have evolved and mutated into this plant that produces secretions from it's leaves that looks a lot like animal feces."

by Joy Zamora, Philippines

...green and leafy! Mommy, why are there green leafy things and no carrots?"

"Honey these are carrots. The orange part we eat is underground," her mother replied sweetly.

"But why?" whined the five year old as she crossed her arms.

"They need the ground and dirt to grow up to be big yummy carrots."

"But, don't they like to see the sun and sky?"

"Well, they re thinking, 'Why doesn't Sarah want to be underground all day? Doesn't she like the dirt?'"

That made little Sarah laugh. "Mommy, carrots can't talk," she said and put her hands on her hips.

"Well, either way, I bet someone is hungry." Sarah nodded and smiled. "Ok, then lets go make some dinner!" exclaimed her mother with a grin.

by Arianna Van Bergen, Milwaukie, OR

...green!"

"What color should I be?" the carrot-top asked.

Not at all surprised that the green fern talked to her, Sarah replied, "Orange. You should be orange."

"And why should I be orange and not green?" the fern thing asked.

"Well, they call ME 'carrot top' because I have orange hair. I assume that carrot tops are orange."

The green fern giggled and said, "Well, you learn something new today. Carrot tops are green. I'm a carrot top and I'm green."

"Oh dear," said Sarah, "what can I do now? I can't be called 'carrot top' -- not with orange hair."

"Well, then, just call yourself 'Carrot Bottom'."

"But my bottom's not orange," Sarah wailed.

"Mine is," the carrot top said.

Drying her tears, Sarah said, "I know. I can be called carrot top after all. I'll just go and dye my hair green."

"Whatever...." the carrot top said and sighed. As Sarah walked away from the garden patch, the carrot top said, "Some people are SO strange!"

by Carolyn Ann Aish, Inglewood, New Zealand

...definitely not carrots. These look more like squash, but I put the squash over there and..." Her voice trailed off as she saw a patch of bare earth where the squash used to be. "What the..."

She was interrupted by what sounded like dozens of tiny running feet. Sarah gasped as a flock of running carrot plants approached from the road, flowing across the yard toward the garden as the squash plants vacated the dirt in front of her and fled toward the squash patch.

"Thanks for keeping our place, squash!" the carrots shouted as they plunged themselves into the dirt. "We didn't mean to stay out so late!"

The squash shouted back, "No problem. We're going out Friday night, so you can return the favor then."

"It's a deal! Y'all have a good day."

Sarah stood there a moment longer, then walked off to find a tree to bang her head against.

by Phillip Lynne, Knoxville, TN