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U-WRITE-IT-RESULTS

WEEK 316
"I ate the whole thing," Lucy told her doctor. "Could that be what's causing this..."

...stomach ache?"

"Food indiscretions can cause nausea or stomach aches. That is true, Lucy," said the doctor.

"Dr. Smith, what can I do about this pain? I didn't eat any food,? asked Lucy with a look of sheer misery all over her face.

"What! What did you eat?" asked Dr. Smith.

Lucy replied, "I was going to eat a piece of pie. But when I started eating the first bite, I found myself swallowing a whole nail...the entire thing!"

"How in the heck did you get a nail in your pie?" asked the doctor.

"I guess my grandson put it in there while it was baking. He likes practical jokes."

"Practical jokes are one thing. Metal in your belly is something else," said the doctor.

by April McCullar, Archibald, LA

...feeling of being over full. I've had it for four days..."

"You're saying that you ate a large toadstool... the whole thing?" the doctor asked with his attention on a paper on his desk. "You're still alive, that's good."

"But I feel so full!"

"It will pass..."

"When?"

A week or so, that's all."

"Why?--Why did it happen?"

"When you eat that kind of toadstool, afterwards, for about two weeks, there's not mushroom for anything else."

by Carolyn Ann Aish, Inglewood, New Zealand

...sharp, shooting pain in my back? It feels like a rhinoceros has gotten his horn stuck in my left kidney."

The doctor nodded slowly. "I see. I don't think it's because of what you ate."

Lucy frowned. "What's causing the pain, then?"

"You don't have many mirrors at home do you?" The doctor asked, before reaching over to the intercom. "Um, Nurse Crofton, could you bring in several newspapers for the floor? And maybe a drop cloth. You remember what happened the last time a rhino was in here."

by Phillip Lynne, Knoxville, TN