"But," said Cecilia, "I didn't think fly spray killed us flying grasshoppers, Kevin."
"Duh! I didn't take time to stop and read the label. I'm getting out of here!" He hopped to the window.
"Why was he wearing a mask?" she asked, flapping her wings, saying, "I'll go and take a look..." She flew off through the archway and into the living room. Within seconds she flew back and landed beside Kevin on the sill.
"He's not wearing a mask. That's how he is. He LOOKS like that! And it was AIR FRESHENER, NOT insect spray..."
"Oh yeah, well I'm a hoppin'-off, he said, "I'm getting away from HIM and YOU ... you're much too hop-timistic for me!!"
by Carolyn Ann Aish, Inglewood, New Zealand"Keven, don't you know who that is?"
"No, Billy I don't."
"He's only the famous masked chef. You dummy."
"Why was he giving me the evil eye?"
"You do know were on the set of the food channel--right?"
"Soooo?"
"Well you were standing between him and the TV camera."
by Ronald Brunsky, OhioAngela's perfectly manicured nails danced over her keyboard. A split second later her concentration morphed into a triumphant smile. She swiveled the monitor toward Kevin.
Eucalyptus Facial Mask. Noon. Gift certificate. His wife.
Shouting "EX-wife!" Kevin never heard Angela's made the appointment by phone. Rushing back to the treatment room, he jabbed 911 into his cell.
Seventy miles away, thin, hard lips stretched into a tiny evil grin. Allller-gicccc... she hissed, glancing up at the clock in the prison day room.
by Daphne Rice, Portland, OR"Ha! Guy in a mask. Where ARE you, a bank?"
"Nope, guess again." Kevin loved this game. He and Beemer played "Where Am I?" so often, they usually used up all their cell phone minutes by mid-month.
"Costume shop! Halloween department!"
Kevin laughed. "Wrongo-bongo, Beemer!"
"Museum Gift Shop! Bat Cave? On a horse next to Tonto?"
"That's five guesses, Beemer-Boy!"
Absolutely gleeful at having stumped his best bud, Kevin was all but dancing around in the carpeted hall. "One final boo-boo and you owe me lunch!"
Unfortunately, his gloating comment was drowned out by the voice coming from the wall speaker above his head: "Doctor Madjid, please report to the Operating Room immediately!"
by Ric Hardson, USA