U-WRITE-IT RESULTS

Lisa picked up the monitor and started to throw it, when these words appeared on the screen:

YOU WILL BE SORRY!

As she yanked at the monitor, cursing it, an electrical shock jolted her body like lightning striking a tree. Lisa fell backward shaking violently.

The words on the screen read:

WHO IS THE PLAY THING NOW?

I walked over to Lisa. She was sobbing, head on her arms, face pressed into the keyboard. Sensing my presence, her muffled, watery voice continued after a loud hiccup, "I'm NOT dumb!"

Looking around the lab at twenty-six other faces, the first traces of worry lines etching across nine year old foreheads, I sighed. Each child on a quest toward a magic number, they were mulitple-choicing their way toward state assessment scores.

Knowing there was no such topic, I didn't flip through the testing manual in search of Dealing-With-Children-Who-Melt-Down-Based-On-Our-Numbers.

Instead, while pressing a tissue into Lisa s hand I wondered how to comfort her with the response discussed at a pre-testing meeting:

"Oh, don't worry. Before May 15th, you can take the test again. Twice."

"Please, turn on the water to continue your game," The computer stated in monotone to her. "Please, turn on the water to continue your game. To turn on the water move your..."

"I know!!" Lisa stood up and pushed herself violently away from the computer. "I will do it again!" She walked into the kitchen and turned on the fauset. "See it's on!" She screamed as she stormed back to the computer and sat down again.

"Please, turn on the water to continue your game..."

Lisa looked to Jason for help, but he just shrugged and rolled his eyes as if playing computerized tarot cards was the stupidest thing in the world. He turned towards the kitchen where he sliced another piece of lemon meringue pie and trudged towards the bedroom to continue to watch the marathon of college basketball games on ESPN.

God, somebody please tell me, what did I ever see in that guy, Lisa thought.

Closing her eyes and holding her breath, Lisa clicked her mouse on the tarot card icon once more. Exhaling slowly, she opened her eyes and faced Death for the third straight time. Well, there's no getting around it. It's obviously time to move on.

"Jason," Lisa called. "We need to talk."

The computer screen had just blacked out. Jerking the laptop toward herself, its hard drive responded by powering down with a deathly sigh.

"Crap! I didn't mean it! Crap! I didn't save! Crap! three chapters I gotta reinvent! Crap! Crap! Crap!"

Angrily hyperventilating, Lisa snapped the lid shut. Violently pushing away from the desk, she tipped the chair, crashing onto the floor.

Disentangling herself, taking a deep breath, she set the chair back up. Tracing the computer's power cord to discover the problem, Lisa sheepishly reinserted the plug into the outlet.

Open once more to its upright position, Lisa's trusty PowerBook hummed back to life. Its bright screen full of text smiled at her.

Knowing it would be silly to hug a laptop she whispered, "You're right. Lesson learned."

Relieved, Lisa continued writing. Right after she hit SAVE.

The computer only laughed.

CRAZY! CRAZY! read the words on the computer. A great forest stretched out behind the words.

"Why...I'm only choosing the middle path, I like to take the center. So, I'll choose the far left path this time..." Lisa clicked on the far left path between the darker trees.

An axe dropped to the bottom of the screen and the words, PSYCHO! PSYCHO! ran across the bottom of the screen.

Lisa typed in "Why--Psycho?"

The reply words ran: YOU CHOSE THE PSYCHO-PATH!