Results of U-Write-It Week 264
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"The thought of a new year depresses me," Carolyn said. "Because it means I have to start all over with my..."
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......evil plot to take over the world."
"Oh please," said Don, "not that again. Even after that nuclear accident?"
Carolyn snorted. "It was only Greenland."
Don looked through a telescope aimed at the moon. "You don't even like world domination."
"So, people who resolve to diet don't enjoy that, either. It's just something I have to do."
"Why can't you take up some other hobby -- like astronomy?"
She sidled up behind him and wrapped her arms around his solid waist. "As a matter of fact," she whispered in his ear, "Once I get the world, I'm going for Mars."
He turned and kissed her. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, their lips barely touching.
"Submit," Carolyn said.
by Charles Kramer, Hyde Park, NY
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...Her voice trailed off. He was not listening. She wanted to talk about the fire. She had nearly completed "The Elephant," a documentary about the tragic depletion of the African Loxodonta population. Footage that could never be reproduced had been destroyed.
"...with my efforts to kill your mother."
He still was not listening.
"My plans last year just did not work out. Chain saw is not the way to go, I guess."
"That's nice, dear," he murmured.
"Arnold!"
Startled, he looked up at her, as if he only now realized she was in the room. "What is it, dear?"
"Not your mother, you."
"I don't understand, dear?"
And then he saw the axe blade, flying toward his face.
"Ah, yes," she said. "Now I feel much better. Dear."
by Sandra Crofton, Milan, MN
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...head in the toilet. Every year I drink too much and I end up paying homage to the porcelain goddess. You would think I would learn my lesson but they give all the free booze you can drink at the Topsy Turvy Club."
"Then don't go this year," her friend Jody said.
"I could do that but then I'd miss the dropping of the ball," Carolyn answered.
"You could watch that on t.v. at home."
"I know but it just wouldn't be the same."
Jody threw her hands up, "Carolyn, you're hopeless!"
by Patricia, Indianapolis
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...goal setting!"
"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Ann, "I LOVE setting goals. Writing them down confirms all the possibilites for the New Year, a whole year to do what I'd like to do. What part about goal setting depresses you?"
"I didn't do everything last year that I set at New Years, last year."
"How many goals did you set, last year?" Ann asked.
"Twenty."
"And how many did you achieve."
"About twelve."
"Then that's twelve more than you'd done if you'd not set goals! I say, don't get depressed. On that average, set one hundred goals, make up all the things you'd like to do in life, and out of one hundred, you should achieve sixty of them! Don't be depressed! The more you strive for, the higher you reach, the more you will achieve. Try it. It works for me!"
by Carolyn Ann Aish, New Zealand
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