Results of U-Write-It Week 245
"I am declaring today a new holiday," the President announced. "From now on, on this day, we will celebrate..." |
...Computer Day. We are grateful computers were born to teaching us new meanings for words. Before computers were born I put poison out for a mouse, now I hold a mouse in my hand. Before computers were born I polished windows with glass cleaners, now I want to see pictures and words on windows. Before computers were born cards were silent. Now I have a sound card. Before computer s were born I pressed start to turn something on. Now I press start to turn something off. To celebrate Computer Day I will pet my mouse, read my window, listen to my card and click my start goodbye. by Linda Welker, Brooksville, FL |
...But he never finished. I watched in confusion as the president lurched forward after an audible pop stung the air. Shock and awe. Similar to his campaign, we all stared at him in that regard. Secret service agents huddled in, sirens sounded, people screamed. Not all in that order, but everything all at once. My hand shook. That was why I must keep it in my pocket, I assured myself. My medication was not working the way it should. I walked away from the horror behind me. I was never one for seeing much blood and terror on people's faces during times of joy and celebration. My hand shook again. I pressed it firmly to my chest, against the hot steel of the gun that had just been fired. by Kerith Brown, Moscow, ID |
...Knock Knock Joke Day."The Jester was somewhat amazed at his success in Bonnyhillshireville. Bonnyhillshireville, being a constitutional monarchy, the King was just a figurehead but the Jester pined for his days as Court Jester and asked for this job. "But we have a Jester." "I don't mean to blow my own horn, but this poor excuse for a Jester can't compare to me. I am par excellence at knock knock jokes and I write my own material." "Those jokes are overrated," said the current Jester who was somewhat annoyed at this interloper. "There," said Flying Jester (as he was now known), "My point exactly." "Tell one of these jokes," commanded the King, "and I will decide if we change Jesters." "Knock knock," said the Jester. "Who's there?" "Aardvark." "Aardvark who?" "Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles." "You're hired," said the King, falling out with laughter. by Jim Ford, Wilson, LA |
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