Falling in a hole in your backyard is ridiculous. At least if he'd been lured by the promise of Wonderland, he'd have an excuse, and a story to tell. But there was no cheshire cat, no hookah-smoking caterpillar. There was only a queen of hearts, whose shrew's shriek and face marked by two packs a day drove him to his own sort of wonderland, the backyard.

Ronny was working on a koi pond, but he'd been overzealous. Now the hole was for an Olympic diving pool. As he stood looking down into the hole, he was startled by, "Ronny! Come inside! Cops is on!" So down he went.

It was quiet, calm in his hole. Maybe he wouldn't fill the hole with water and fish. Maybe he would just leave it. Ronny needed a place to fall once in awhile.

Eddie looked into the recently dug septic hole and covered the mischievous grin on his face.

Competition was at its best for Eddie and Jay, best friends since kindergarten and now at the ripe age of 15. A challenge to jump the deep hole was ended by the first jumper, Jay. Not because of Jay's ability to lunge the hole, being 4 inches taller than Eddie and the best long jumper on the track team. No, the hard luck came when Eddie kicked his foot out to trip Jay as he jumped.

The mind overcomes one's physical ability, especially when powered by the vibrancy of youth and non-acceptance of defeat. The last thing in Eddie s vision was Jay scrambling up the dirt wall and a fist in between his eyes. So ends the story with Eddie lying in the deep hole in the back yard.

Approximately two hours and forty two minutes later, in a small New Zealand town, policemen were gathered around a huge hole that had been blown in the ground without warning the day before. The area was roped off with yellow tape, and the police were still looking for clues.

Suddenly, they heard a scuffle and a grunt, and a head popped out of the hole.

"Whew, good thing I caught the edge, or I'd have fallen all the way back to Liverpool," the stranger announced.

When the police had recovered well enough to speak, they asked, "Did you blow this hole in the ground?"

"Yes. Let me introduce myself. My name is Ronny."

He held out his hand in friendly greeting. But instead of a handshake, the policeman snapped him in handcuffs, and the only greeting he got was, "You're under arrest."

At least the soil was soft, breaking Ronny's fall. Brushing himself off he looked for a way to climb out. The more he tried to climb up the side the deeper the hole became. Exasperated, Ronny fell back against the dirt.

"Ronny, where are you?" Jessica was yelling.

"In here!"

"Ronny, quit playing around we have work to do where are you?" Jessica stopped short of the hole, looking down she could see Ronny. "Are you hurt?"

"I don't think so."

Hands on her hips, she yelled, This is a fine mess. I told you to fill this hole in. You never listen to me."

"Could you harp at me later?" Ronny cut Jessica off. "And go get help?"

Waiting for help, Ronny thought why did we ever move out of our condo?

"I suppose you're late," Ronny sniggered.

"No, you are," snapped the white rabbit.

Watching him hop away Ronny decided it was definitely those marinated carrots he'd had for lunch that landed him in this dream world. Deciding to play along Ronny called out, "Hey, wait up. What am I late for?"

"You're late; you're awfully, awfully late. Go ask Alice, I think she'll know."

Ronny fell in behind the rabbit wondering: Where am I? Ask Alice what? Who's going to show up next, the wonderful wizard with a hot air balloon and a pair of ruby red slippers?

Ronny turned the corner and there she was, right next to Flo! "Well, kiss my grits!" exclaimed Ronny.

He was swivelling at a great velocity, until he found himself landing on something soft. He looked down and saw that he was held aloft in the soft palms of one of the most exquisite creatures he had set eyes upon. He found all around him fairies, and nymphs and a beautiful garden with sweet scented flowers. A myriad colour of fishes were floating all around, which was feast to the eyes. He was bathed in sweet scented pefume. He was dumbfounded at the beauty surrounding him.

Grandmother tales were always Hell is below and Heaven is above, and that the wicked go to Hell and the good to Heaven, but Ronny felt in his case there was a reverse order of things and was placed in Heaven below!!!!