Results of U-Write-It Week 225
"This'll teach 'em to critize my baking," the cook chuckled softly to herself, as she added to the batter some..." |
...fresh peyote buttons. With each stir of the thick concoction, she fantasized about them writhing on the floor, engulfed in the religious euphoria of psychedelic mania; a sweetly terrifying experience. She licked her fingers and released a deep guttural sound. The walls melted, revealing the crowded dining room. Scaly creatures slithered along the floor chewing at one another, licking the carpet that had turned to fresh, moist meat. The noise within to room swelled then suddenly was quiet. The cook looked down into the batter, which revealed her own reflection. She spent hundred of days looking through herself in the batter as the world dissolved around her. When the pioneers of our grandchildren discovered her in the kitchen years later, she was nothing but the stump of a petrified tree.by Brad Adams, New York, NY |
...peanut oil. "You're a true assassin, Lee," her sous chef joked. "He has a peanut allergy. His tongue will swell up so big he won't even be able to fit a fork into it," she replied. "Or he will go into anaphylactic shock and die," the sous offered as an alternative. "Well, then he won t be criticizing anyone, will he?" Lee said with the final word. by SB, Denver, CO |
...liquid. She emptied the little bottle. "What did you put in there?" the cook's boss demanded, snatching the little blue bottle from her hand. "Just a little H2O," she said, adding, "the batter was a bit thick." "H20 is just water," the boss said, looking a the label. "H204. That's odd. I wonder why they put it in a blue bottle?" He looked sideways at the cook as she stirred the batter. "What is this? What is H204?" "Drinking," she replied with a straight face, then repeated, "What is H204? Just drinking." by Carolyn Ann Aish, New Zealand |
...tabasco sauce to her cake. "There, that should take care of my in-law's comments." Rae was proud of her infantile action. "Coffee ready yet, sweetheart? My parents would like a fresh cup," Richard asked. "Absolutely," Rae smiled, tilting her head to one side, batting her blue eyes as if she were an angel. "Thanks, you're the greatest little wife," Richard returned to the living room. Rae brought the coffee out right away. "This coffee tastes funny!" Richard's father exclaimed. "Really?" Richard acknowledged. "Mine tastes just fine." "So does mine," Richard's mother chimed in. "Well, mine tastes like crap," Richard's father stated. "I thought he liked sugar in his coffee," Rae smiled. "I hate sugar," Richard's father complained. "Oh. I figured you could use a little sugar to kill that sarcastic tone you always have. Perhaps fill you with a little gratitude and kindness. Then again, I could be wrong," Rae smiled. by Ranae Cherry, Dover, PA |
...sawdust. "Fatheaded freak," she mumbled under her breath as she slid the cake into the oven. "Tell me my cornbread tastes like sawdust. I show you..." The kitchen door opened and the butler entered. "Bad news, I'm afraid, Ms. Cromby. Sir is out there comparing your pudding to, uh, shall we say cat poo?" "Really," Ms. Cromby said. "Oh well, can't win 'em all. I'll just have to try harder tomorrow." "Ah, very mature attitude, Ms. Cromby." "Thanks. Oh, and by the way, Sniffington..." "Yes?" "Would you have someone bring in the cat litter boxes from the annex tonight? I'll see that they are cleaned out."by Phillip Lynne, Knoxville, TN |
...sugar - five cups of it! "Everyone knows that kids love sugar, so if I give them enough of it, they'll love my cooking forever!" she speculated. Her kitchen boy looked puzzled. "Ma'am....are you quite sure that it would be good in this case?" The cook glanced at him loftily. "I know it will be. I know everything." She finished the dish, and set it in the oven to bake. At dinner time, she took in the food to the childrens' dining room. They all had sullen looks on their faces. Until they took a bite of their food, that is. Then their faces lit up. "Do I feel hyper coming on?" a little boy quipped. "We need to have this every day!" a little girl said. "Roast chicken is my favorite!"by Meredith Rigby |
Return to U-Write-It Scribes Valley Publishing Company
Knoxville, TN
©2007 Scribes Valley Publishing All Rights Reserved
|
