Scribes Valley Publishing

Results of U-Write-It Week 217

"That's right," the Club speaker said. "The Pilgrims didn't have turkey on the first Thanksgiving. Instead, they pigged-out on..."

...well, pigs. Get it? Ha ha ha ha!"

I buried my head in my hands as my father made the lame joke. He was always doing that, and now in public! Whose idea was it to let him run for Club speaker, anyway? Oh yeah, that's right, my mother. I remember I almost croaked when I heard the news. "Honey, your father and I have decided to run for Club speaker!" Am I supposed to be happy? Why didn't they just go ahead and run for President?! Never mind, that would be way more embarrassing. Then, they would be on national television. I guess it's not as bad as it could be.

by Susan McLaren, Richmond, VA

...corn, wild berries, squash and home made moonshine."

Josh raised his hand to speak, "I didn't know the Pilgrims made white lightning?"

"Yep," the Club speaker continued, "The Pilgrims learned how to make great hooch, which is another word for the distilled spirit."

"What did they use?" Josh was fascinated by this news.

"Corn and sugar," the Club speaker explained. "That's what moonshine is made of."

"I didn't think they believed in drinking?" Josh still couldn't grasp the concept of Pilgrims drinking.

"Remember, there were Indians at the first Thanksgiving and maybe the Indians were able to teach the Pilgrims how to make moonshine," Amy offered her opinion.

"We never learned this in school?" Josh reasoned.

"Moonshine wouldn't fit in with the culture," the Club Speaker explained.

"Can you see the Pilgrims getting plastered," Josh laughed.

"That would explain Thanksgiving Day: they were happy to learn how to make moonshine," Amy smiled.

by Ranae Cherry, Dover, PA

...cheese puffs, corn chips, pretzels, and nutty brownies for dessert."

A hush fell over the audience, until a young man stood in the back with his hand raised. "Uh, sir, I don't believe any of those things were invented back then."

"And lasagna!" the Club speaker shouted. "With extra noodles, meat, and Parmesan cheese."

"Uh, sir..."

"Lobster was there! With garlic butter and Boysenberry jam for the extra whole wheat toasted rolls."

Security appeared on stage and approached the speaker. "You'll have to come with us, sir."

"Not yet!" the speaker shouted. "I'm just getting to the main course..."

As they started to drag the speaker off the stage, the microphone picked up one of the security guard's words: "I still can't figure out how he keeps getting out. I put two locks on the door this time..."

by Phillip Lynne, Knoxville, TN

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